Fat Bottomed Girls

Are you gonna take me home tonightAh down beside that red firelightAre you gonna let it all hang outFat bottomed girlsYou make the rockin world go roundHey I was just a skinny ladNever knew no good from badBut I knew life before I left my nurseryLeft alone with big fat fannyShe was such a naughty nannyHeap big woman you made a bad boy out of meHey hey!Ive been singing with my bandAcross the wire across the landI seen evry blue eyed floozy on the wayBut their beauty and their styleWent kind of smooth after a whileTake me to them dirty ladies every timeOh wont you take me home tonight? Oh down beside your red firelightOh and you give it all you gotFat bottomed girls you make the rockin world go roundFat bottomed girls you make the rockin world go roundHey listen hereNow your mortgages and homesI got stiffness in the bonesAint no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)Oh but I still get my pleasureStill got my greatest treasureHeap big woman you gonna make a big man out of meNow get thisOh you gonna take me home tonight (please)Oh down beside your red firelightOh you gonna let it all hang outFat bottomed girls you make the rockin world go roundFat bottomed girls you make the rockin world go roundGet on your bikes and rideOooh yeah them fat bottomed girlsFat bottomed girlsYeah yeah yeahFat bottomed girlsYes yes

I Love Cake!

I love you like a fat loves cake is a very cute lyric in 50 Cent's song "21 Questions". Popular in the Chicago area to say to someone you adore. "And we only humans girl we make mistakes, to make it up I do whatever it take I love you like a fat kid love cake You know my style I say anything to make you smile"
Girl: I love you!! Boy: How much?!! Girl: Like a fat kid loves cake!

Girls Ask? Why is it Guys don't like fat girls?

Guys Say:

Wrong! Men do like girls with a little extra something. Just beyourself and eventually that guy will come along....

I don't think you've been around the right guys. Their are thousands of websites that cater just to guys who like to look at BBW's. Trust me, lots of guys don't care what size you are.

I don't like too bony girls, but there is a limit to all good things as well.

I don't mind a few extra pounds, but obese is too much for me.

I think that they do not care about the weight, its just they dont want there friends to see them with someone like that.basically they dont want to be imbarresed. they want a trophy they can show off. sorry but the ppl who invinted barbies and beauty pagents.... it is there faulght!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because all the models in the magazines are thin. Also because some of them are afraid of a real woman with round hips, butt, etc....Usually as guys get older they start to appreciate a rounder more womanly shape. Guys who like curves are usually sexier themselves and better in bed.

Did I ever mention, Men lie!

Yo momma's

Yo momma's so fat,she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac

Yo momma's so fat,when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

Yo momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale

Yo momma's so fat, at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.

Yo momma's so fat,when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.

Yo momma's so fat,she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

Thanks Comedy Zone!

Yo momma's so fat,when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo momma's so fat,I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo momma's so fat,she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

Yo momma's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

Yo momma's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo momma's so fat,she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo momma's so fat,her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

Hills

I took my children to the park today. It is part of my new routine. My husband and I plan to walk every day. If he lasts more than two weeks, I will kiss his derriere! If I last more than a week, I will probably have a heart attack.
Well we decided to do the whole loop, which is only about ¾ a mile. I think I could handle the ¾ mile, but it has lots of hills. Have you ever seen a fat woman climb a hill? It’s not a pretty site.
First, I break a sweat. So, every inch of fat is covered with shinny liquid. Then, the panting starts. My face turns bright red, and I grab my side.
I am sure a passerby would believe that I am having a heart attack. No heart attack. Just a fat girl having a little family fun.

Under the Desk

I have dropped my pen and I can’t pick it up!
I dropped my pen today. It rolled way under my desk. It was just a cheap blue pen, but it was the only pen I had. At first, I didn’t think much about it. Then, the phone rang.
Of course, someone wanted to book a cruise. Here I was with a paying customer and my only pen under my desk. I quickly prayed for my children to come to my aide, but they were nowhere to be found. So, I had to do it!
I laid the phone on the desk, and I slowly lowered myself to the floor. At first, I was on my knees. The pen was still just out of my reach. So, I had no choice but to sprawl my fat butt on the floor.
While doing so, I knocked over my chair and the phone setting upon it. After some stretching, I finally retrieved my pen. Now, I had to grab my desk and pull myself up. Bad Mistake!
My desk tilted just a bit. Enough, of course, to knock over all my supplies. Now, I am lying in the floor covered in post-its and paper clips. I am also thanking the Lord that my computer did not fall on my head.
Then, I remember the phone. I knew I had to get to it quick. I decide the safest bet would be to crawl. So, I crawled on hands and knees to the phone. Out of breath, I picked up the phone.
“Sorry about that!” I whisper. The customer of course is gone.

Smooth Legs

To the slim girl, shaving their legs is a breeze. For a fat girl, it is a chore. First of all, you must decide to squeeze your butt into the tub or stand and attempt to touch your ankle. Let me tell you, neither way is good!
Sitting in the tub has its advantages. You can simply prop your legs up, lather, and shave. However, it also has its disadvantages. You have to work your way down into the tub. For some, that is a very tight spot.
Even if you can fit, you may not be able to move around. If you are squeezed into a tub, how can you get your leg up with ease? When you do get it up, the water flows like a dam just broke.
I almost forgot, once a fat chick gets down. She often has trouble getting back up. So, she might have to ask for assistance. Imagine having to get your husband, parents, or even children to help pull your naked, fat butt from a tub! How embarrassing!
Standing in the shower also has its advantages. No struggling to fit and you can usually get in and out with no trouble. The down side can be pretty tough though.
A 250 lb woman has a lot between her head and feet. All of it has to bend with her. That is not easy. It is almost impossible to bend completely over. Of course, you can place your foot on the side of the tub.
So, here you are. A fat, naked, and wet chick with your foot propped up on a slippery tub. You know what happens next. A fat, naked, and wet chick lying on the floor crying in pain.
If you don’t fall, you still may encounter problems. The extra fat will put pressure on your chest as you bend. So the whole time you are shaving, you are panting for air. Just imagine how scared our husband are when the walk by the bathroom….
No Smooth Legs Here!

Rub Burn

Have you ever had a rug burn? You know! Someone pulls you across the carpet, and it leaves a red mark that burns like crap. Well, that is a rug burn.
I would like to talk about something very similar to a rug burn. A RUB BURN!
It’s a raw spot that forms between fat thighs. Each step makes it worse. I spend the whole day walking with my legs two feet apart. I am praying for the torturous day to end.
By the end of the day, there is a rub burn the size of a small plate between my legs. I begin pulling off my pants as I unlock the door. I run to my bed and spread my legs.
First things first, I point the fan on the rub burn. Tears often flow until the pain subsides. Then, I look for diaper rash medicine. I carefully rub it on the burning sore, and I hope it heals overnight.
Guess what, it never does. So, the next morning it all starts over again!

This Way

People often say, I just do not know how I got this way. “This Way” meaning fat of course. I have the answer for them. They ate like freaking pigs!
Fat people are actually picky eaters. Really! Have you ever seen a fat person walking around with a hard, dry, tasteless rice cake? NO! We walk around with a bag of Doritos, a Twinkie, and a coke.
Now the funniest thing I have ever seen is a 300 lb woman drinking a diet coke. I just want to shake her and say…. “Dear that diet cola is not doing a thing for you. You may want to lose the foot long meatball sub instead.”

Panties

I have not worn panties for years. I wear underwear. They are not silk and lacy. They do not have cute little butterflies or flowers on them. Who really wants to see a flower on a fat woman’s butt?
My underwear are a size 11. They are faded, stretched out, and some holes. They pair that currently covers my derriere are split half way down one side. I wear them anyway. Who really cares what my panties look like?
Want to know a secret; I can’t see my underwear anyway. My sagging stomach covers them. I am sure I have enough back fat to cover the rear also.

Rolls

There are tons of rolls in a fat woman’s world. My favorite being the wonderful, buttery, hot, and soft rolls of O’Charlies. I can eat a dozen of them at once. I am sure I have an extra pound or two on my fat butt courtesy of O’rolls.Of course, there are less appetizing rolls. One of which currently resides below my belly button.
It hangs down a seven or eight extra inches, and it often causes me problems.That darn thing will get in the way of everything. My pants just cannot seem to keep it in. I am telling you, it has a life of its own. It invites friends over. Nice wonderful little yeast buddies. The smell of freshly baked rolls does not have the same affect when it comes from my body. So, fungal cream instead of butter goes better with this roll.
There is also the roll that has formed under my bra. The one that rubs against my waistband constantly. My breasts are now lost in the rolling hills of a fat woman. Oh well, they are of no real use anymore anyway.